Habits…. the good and the baaaaad….

Haha, the title of this post makes me think of The Lorax… I love when he sings “How baaaaaad can I be, I’m just doing what comes naturally” I definitely had to watch that movie a few times before I loved it, but now its one of my faves!

Anywhooo… back to what this post is about. I recently ordered Joyce Myer’s book off Amazon, Making Good Habits, Breaking Bad Habits. While I’m not finished with the book, (okay, okay, I’m not even halfway through it) I am in awe. I really believe it’s the kick in the pants that I need to get my life in order.

Here are some of the habits I hope to form:

• Praying daily
• Budgeting/Becoming debt free
• Keeping a clean and organized house
• Meal planning
• Being patient
• Having a positive attitude
• Being a better mom
• Giving more

I’m sure I left quite a few things off that list, but it is a start.

Here is some I’m PRAYING I break:

• Cell phone addiction – My recent addiction on my phone is Candy Crush, but I’m guilty of constantly checking Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I also check for missed messages/calls, which is crazy because I know my phone will beep at me…
• Shopping as a form of therapy – So, so hard to break this one, but I know that it is a MUST. My life has been pretty rough over the last couple years, and instead of addressing my issues, I turn to shopping. I feel like I always need something new… even though I have clothes in my closet that still have tags on them.
• Self-Criticizing – I’m horrible at this. When I look in the mirror, rarely do I notice the positive things about myself, but do notice the things that I don’t like and wish I could change. How do I overcome this?
• Watching too much television – There are so many days that I come home and plop myself down on the couch. I record SO much trash TV, it is really ridiculous.
• Hitting the snooze button – OMG I am TERRIBLE at this. I have to leave my home very early in the morning so I can drop off my son and get to work on time. I should be leaving about 35-40 minutes before I should be at work, but I constantly push that time to 25ish minutes…
• Never finishing projects – This is one that I am really embarrassed about. I a lot of times I feel like I have really good ideas, and really want to do things (this blog), buy a house, finish school, ext, but I give up. Why is it so hard to motivate myself?

Now these are some of the things that stood out to me when I first opened her book. Crazy that I can identify with over half of the poor habits she mentions.

Joyce recommends working on one bad habit at a time. For the month of June, I am going to work on using shopping as a form of therapy. I’ve committed to myself that I am going to stay out of Target, Wal-Mart, Malls, and other places that I seem to lose control in. After June is over, I’m hoping to have formed a better habit of planning purchases, and not letting my emotions get the best of me. I’m not making promises, but I hope to update this blog along the way.

Becoming debt free is so important to me, and I know it isn’t something that will happen overnight. I am working on paying down credit cards, but I know that my shopping habits prevent me from doing a better job.

I’m working on an update blog post that should be up in the next couple days. I know that it’s been a long while since I’ve posted here, and that’s because I don’t make it a priority. Maybe that will be my goal for JULY!

Goodnight!

Busy, busy

This week I can officially say I’m BUSY!

I have 19 miles on my training plan:
Monday: 5 miles
Wednesday: 5 miles

Thursday: 4 miles
Saturday: 5 miles

I look forward to going home after work, cooking dinner and spending time with my kids. That has yet to happen this week, and I doubt it will.

Monday I worked until 6:30pm so I went home and made turkey sandwiches for dinner. It was the fastest thing I could think of, and the kids didn’t complain. Win!

Tuesday night was THE BEST night I’ve had in a long time! My best friend since preschool was in town, and it had been TEN YEARS since we saw each other. Can I just say that will NEVER happen again!! We live in the same state, and surely we can find a weekend or two to visit each other.

Childhood BFFs

She’s beautiful

Last night was open house at Lexy’s school, and tonight is Mr. P’s. I always look forward to what the kiddos do in class thoughout the year, besides the things they bring home. Lex is taking French class, and totally fell in love with the subject. On Tuesday night she tried teaching me how to answer 5 questions in French so she could get extra credit (she doesn’t even need it) for open house. I was confident that I could answer the questions when I went to bed, but when I woke up that morning I couldn’t remember a thing. Her teacher jokingly called me a quitter. Haha

My baby!

Obsessed

My nutrition this week has been bad…. I hate that I had such a great week last week (lost 2.3lbs) but this week I have given into every temptation, and not even bothered to watch my calorie intake. My job had a catered lunch from the gourmet food trucks. Portabella sliders with a side of fries? Yes please! I regretted it almost instantly. Last night I even had a sundae from the dreaded McDonald’s. *gasp* I’ve probably had I was up 1lb this morning. I won’t even lie to myself and say that I’ll be good on vacation, but I totally need to watch it once I get back. I know that it isn’t realistic, but I would love to lose about 7lbs before the half marathon. Since the half is in 24 days, and within that time I will be on vacation, and my mom is visiting, 3lbs is more realistic. Tonight we’ll be having crockpot spaghetti! The sauce is in the slow cooker, and I know it’ll be delicious.

So many things I’m looking forward to! 2013 is definitely starting to look up! 😀

Happy Thursday

Running Safety

Hey, hey!

So I usually do my longer runs along our local bike trail. I know it’s not safe at all, but before this year happened I always had a running partner. Said partner is now a pregnant woman, and not interested in running right now. Totally understandable, since pregnancy comes with a ton of discomfort, and running while pregnant is not for everyone. She is still one smoking hot mama, rocking out on the elliptical, and doing yoga when possible. 

Marisa and I last year after a 14 mile run.

That’s not what this post is about.

This past weekend, I had 11 miles on my schedule, and a kiddo’s track meet that I would need to leave the house by 7:20 AM for. That’s not a problem, I figured I would leave the house between 4:30 and 5:00 and run on the more populated streets since they would have the most lights, and a little traffic. On Friday night I laid out all my things for the run, and what I would be wearing to the meet since I would be cutting it close. I also packed our lunches and snacks that we would be eating at the meet.

The alarm went off at 4, I grabbed an English muffin with P/B and half a banana, changed my clothes and headed out the door at 4:55. The first 10 miles of my run were extremely uneventful. Sure I took a couple walk breaks, and there was an eerie calm to the early morning, but really it was no big deal. As I was finishing the last mile of my run I noticed a person dressed in all black near the end of the street. By this time it was pretty light out, but the traffic was very minimal since it was so early in the morning. As I got closer, I was just about to cross to the other side of the street, but he beat me to it. I pulled out my phone because something about the situation just didn’t sit right with me. He stopped on the other side of a bush and then I noticed that he had a mask on his face and his penis was out of his pants and he was shaking it at me. I panicked and let out a scream so he would know that I was aware of him, and hauled ass to the intersection calling my friend to come get me. She was there in 3 minutes tops since she lives 3 doors down from me.

I got home safe, but it left a terrible taste in my mouth for outdoor running. Especially alone. Problem is however, that I don’t know anyone that I can run double digit miles with. A lot of my friends are simply not runners, and if they are, 3-5 miles is their max! I still have two, twelve mile runs on my schedule, with that distance, the treadmill is not really an option.
What do people do to protect themselves from the evil people in the world? I have heard of two recent attacks in
my area. I just think it is ridiculous that I can’t leave my home at ANY time of the day or night and feel safe.

Recent, non-related pics: 

Lexy and her BFF. Both got PR’s in their races

Sunday, sushi date… I LOVE pepperfin!

I guess I’m off to Mr. Google and see what’s out there…

Spring is here, but summer is coming!

This week is FLYING by! I feel like most of them do these days with both kids in sports. Tuesday was especially challenging because Mr. P had a basketball game, and as soon as it was over he had to go to track practice. Fun times!

So yesterday, it was so bright and sunny… like mid 70s. I went for a 6 mile run during my lunch break.  Today it is totally raining! I still went for a quick 3 miler during lunch.  I do so much better running outdoors then on the treadmill. I love the fresh air and observing nature. There is just something so therapeutic about pounding the pavement. There’s only 31 days until the half marathon I’m running. So stoked that it’s almost here. I’m especially excited to finally meet a group of ladies that I met on an online running group six years ago! They totally inspired me to run the very first race. Despite having a few set backs, running still has my heart. ❤

I’ve been missing my family something fierce over the last few weeks. I think about moving often, but at the same time, Lexy only has 4 years left in high school, and Mr. P has his daddy here. I don’t want to take anything away from the kids, especially not knowing where I’d truly be happy. Oklahoma is nice, but there are any beaches nearby. I LOVE the water, and hate the cold….

Random pictures from the last few days…

He’s such a happy little guy!Me after yesterday’s 6 mile runAnd today its raining!

Happy birthday to my youngest nephew! He’s 2 today

My new favorite drink! My poor wallet…

Baby boy lost a top tooth! It hurt him just a lil bit…

I’m thinking that I need to start planning some affordable summer activities! I’d like to take the kids to the ocean, on dinner picnics, camping, and to the water slides. I just need to make sure I can afford it all. It doesn’t take much money to entertain them really, and I think we could make some really awesome memories.

If anyone is reading…

What fun (cheap) things do you do with your kiddos during the summer?

Have a great night! I can’t wait for Fabulous Friday!

 

 

What is happiness?

Man, losing someone you loved SUCKS… having to see that person happy with someone else nearly every day… meh, it used to hurt really bad, but I am not one to wish bad on anyone, so I am happy for them. Maybe happy isn’t the right word to use since he’s offered to come “visit” me on more than one occasion. He was obviously not the person God has in store for my future. I just want to find happiness, and true love. I am learning to trust God more and more, and know that the only way I will find that person is by having patience.

It’s been a really long time since my last post (obviously) and a ton of fun things have happened. I hesitate to use the word busy, but life has been pretty full of awesome! Over the last month and a half, I have been to visit my family in Oklahoma, watched my daughter run in a ton of track meets, celebrated her 15th birthday, watched my son play basketball, been to a couple minor league hockey games, and I’ve been training for the half marathon that I’m running in 34 days!
My kids, and nephews

 

My sis and I getting ready

Me and the kids before my sis and I went to a movie.Lexy before her 1st high school track meet

My baby girl’s birthday cake.

Mr. P after scoring NINE baskets!

Kids at the hockey game.

Our view of a fight on the ice!

I also have a few fun things coming up as well. One of my childhood friends will be here this weekend, another friend and I will be traveling to Vegas, and my mama is coming for a visit. I have not seen her in over a year, and I can’t wait for one of those good hugs that only your mama can give!
Spending so much time being sad, and depressed made me miss out on a TON of great events with my friends. There were so many birthday parties, football games, barbeques, and weekend getaways going on that I could not drag myself out of bed for. That won’t be me this year. I fully intend on enjoying my spring, summer, fall, hell I’m going to enjoy the rest of my life! Seeing my kids smile is the best feeling ever, and right now that is all I need. Finding MY definition of happy, has been a struggle, but I think I am finally there!

Happy Monday!

Grattitude

I couldn’t be happier about leaving 2012 behind! It was certainly a year of many, many learning experiences that I will keep with me for the rest of my life.

Knowing what is important in life sounds like it would be common sense. I’m sure for many it is, but this girl had to hit her head a few times (or 10) to finally know what matters most:

I will never again take the love of my family and friends for granted. I spent a good part of years past pushing people away that cared so deeply about my well-being. Thankfully, the important ones never gave up…. even when it took 10+ years for me to come around:

(Picture from my last visit in April. We were drunk… it wasn’t pretty)

I know that I’ve talked about it before, but my relationship with my brother and sister was seriously strained because I took out the hurt/anger that I had towards my father, on them. I really resented the fact that they grew up with my dad and he took such an active role in their lives, but not mine. I’m over it. All of it. Even the ill feelings I had towards my dad are gone, despite not much being different. I think I just grew up, and realized that he is who he is. When I come around, we have an amazing time…. but when I’m not around, we don’t really talk. My brother and sister however, make up for that 100%. I feel so much love from them. It’s amazing!

This weekend, I get to go visit my family. It was supposed to be all of us hanging out, but my brother got called to the oil field and we won’t get to see him this trip. I’m sad, but I will still get to see my sister, brother-in-law, nephews, and my dad. I’m already in vacation mode despite having 4 more sleeps before we leave!

The last time I went for a visit, I had a really hard time leaving… and I still haven’t let go of the possibility of living there. Who in their right mind would leave California for Oklahoma? The thought of living close to my family though just feels so right.

Moving on…

There are a few blogs that I really enjoy reading on a weekly basis. One is Purpose Fairy. I like it because it helps me feel better about myself, and gives me the tools I need to be a better, more confident person. The post I read today was titled 10 Promises You Should Make to Yourself. I want to apply them ALL to my life, but here is the one I want to start doing IMMEDIATELY:

7. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future.

I tend to be really hard on myself for the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t know HOW to change that, but I am trying really hard to be forgiving of both myself and others.

Have you ever needed to forgive yourself for something?

I don’t have too many regrets in life, but the few I do have are hard to let go of.  Here are some of the things I am working on so I can forgive myself for the past:

• Love myself
• Remind myself that I am not the inventor of… (ex. lying, cheating, betrayal, lust, or temptation)
• Keep reminding myself that forgiveness is a sign of strength, and high self-esteem – qualities that I WANT to have

Anyway… This post has ended up being way longer than intended. I will leave you with a picture of my lil man helping his mama cook dinner last night.

He’s such a sweetheart! Always helping his mama 🙂

Alicia

Weekend Love <3

This weekend was one of THE BEST weekends I’ve had in a LONG time! I totally made time for myself, but also enjoyed time with my daughter, and friends. I even got most of my weekly food prepped, and chores done. I feel SO accomplished, and ready to take on this busy week.

On Friday, I got to get my hair done by my old hair dresser! I think this kicked off the mood for the weakened because I was on cloud 9 ever since!

I stopped going to my normal hair guy for a lot of years, one because of the expense, and two because he stacks his clients. There would be anywhere from 6-10 girls waiting for him at a time. I understand WHY he does it, but as a client wanting to be in and out… it sucks! I did however come to the realization that sometimes you have to put up with small annoyances to gain great results. I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks….  A feeling that I haven’t felt in a long while, so for now, it’s worth it.

As a black woman, it is important to find someone that feels comfortable with my type hair. I have tried out a couple different salons over the last couple years and always walked out $150-200.00 poorer, and pretty unsatisfied.  

I spent $75.00, was there for hours, and just couldn’t be happier!

After I was finished, I headed home to freshen up and then head to a friend’s house for drinks. We watched the highlights of the Clippers/Heat basketball game, some other random things on TV before crashing. I woke up and it was 7 in the morning. Ooops!

I headed home, cleaned up around the house a little bit, got a very special delivery from a friend….

Starbux was much needed for hangover relief, AND a boost of energy for the day! Thx to my BFF!

Later that day, my daughter, BFF, and my daughter’s BFF headed out to Jack’s!  This place seriously has the best “fast” food. I ordered a tofu salad, and my baby girl got a tri tip sandwich. We also had some urban (so NOT healthy) fries to share with the table.

Such a fun afternoon. We also did some shopping at Bath and Body Works. Picked up some candles for the house, and a couple lotion bottles for my desk at work. I also was sneeky and started birthday shopping for my princess who will be 15 next month! OMG, time flies when you’re having fun!

After all the girl time, Lex and I headed to the dreaded laundry mat. It’s a long story, but I don’t have a washer or dryer right now. I haven’t had to go to a wash house in 7ish years. Crazy! We got our 8 loads of clothes finished in about an hour and a half. Folded them up and headed to the MOVIES!

We went to see Idenity Thief, which was hilarious, but I felt pretty uncomfortable sitting next to my daughter. So many potty words/content. I must remember to check the ratings and watch the trailor before bringing my kid.

All in all it was a great weekend… Sunday was spent getting ready for the work week. Ironed Mr. P’s uniforms, and prepped means and stuff to make things easier. We leave for vacation on Saturday, so this week is going to go FAAAAAST!

Alicia

Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes

Monday night I headed over to a friend’s place… way too late for a weeknight, but I was feeling antsy and wanted to hang out. While I was there, I received the following text anonymously:

“Do you ever still think about us? If I could be there now would you want me to be?”

Seriously, the second I got the text, I KNEW who it was. I’ve only had 2 REAL relationships in my life, and one of which my ex makes no secret that he still loves me, thinks about me, and if given the opportunity, we would be together again. The other person, yea, the one that I fell head over heels in love with, but he ultimately broke my heart, which currently has a live in girlfriend…. I knew it was him. Sad right? And what is sadder is that it made me swooooon! I continued my night with my friend, and had a ridiculous amount to drink and quickly forgot all about it.

The next morning I went back to the text. I got to thinking about our failed relationship and I responded to him (1st mistake) through the cellular provider’s website, saying “Yes & Yes”. After not getting a response the entire day I thought I might’ve been mistaken in thinking it was him. That was of course until this morning when I got another message saying “Do you sill start work at 7:00” This assured me that I was correct in thinking it was my ex. I didn’t respond, but that wasn’t because I didn’t want to, or wasn’t going to… instead my phone rang from a “restricted” caller. I answered and heard the familiar voice on the other end. We had a pretty flirty conversation for the first 5-10 minutes, and he even convinced me to spend the morning with him, and go to work a few hours late….. Why??? Whats worse? I know this man has a girlfriend, who he LIVES with….

I’ve worked really, REALLY hard over the last almost YEAR to NOT call/text him, NOT run into him, and really try to forget him. Truth be told, I think about him daily…. often several times a day. I’m wondering if the fact that I didn’t go through a lot of relationships when I was younger has anything to do with how hard it is to simply let it go? I’m not looking for excuses because I know all this is wrong… I just really want to know. I’ve also never been dumped before him. Does that make things harder?

Thankfully, he called back and said that he couldn’t make it after all, and I brought my ass to work. I just need to know what to do the next time this happens? I know what to do, I just don’t know how to do it.

I suck!

Crazy, I JUST read this on Facebook as I was about to hit publish:

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better” – Maya Angelou

I definitely KNOW better…. I just need to DO better.

Holla at ya!

What is wrong with me?

So yea…. I’m bummed.

I feel like when 2012 started, life was looking up. I was dating what I thought was an amazing man, I liked my job, my daughter was taking control of her emotions, my sons behavior was getting so much better…. And then May happened. I lost afore mentioned amazing man, I had little desire to go to work, or even leave my bed for that matter. Every time I thought things were getting better, something worse happened. And when I say it happened from May-December…. It happened… and things got REALLY good, and then things got REALLY bad. And while we’re on the lines of terrible things happening, I didn’t meet any of my 2012 goals. Not fitness, financially, or personally. Well, I take that back, I did run a sub hour 10k.

I really want 2013 to be different. I have so many ideas in my head, but I really should focus on one thing. Eliminating debt. I have a spending addiction. I can be so focused on saving money and paying down credit cards, but then I get hit with some bad news, get wrapped up on emotions, and then I mess up all my progress. WHY? I have ZERO self control. I need to find something that I enjoy, and can do besides spending money.

I like working out, but I don’t exactly have unlimited access to a gym or anything. I suppose I could go for a run, or walk…. hmmm maybe I will try that this week. If things start to feel hectic for me, I will take a short walk and get some fresh air.

Another thing, I’m STILL hung up on my ex. I swear being with him was one of the best years of my life. But I didn’t appreciate him. Honestly, I didn’t know what I had because I had never been treated so well in my life. I totally pushed him away despite him telling me he wasn’t happy with the way things were progressing. He moved on, and I still have to see his face (and his new love) at work from time to time. How do you get over this shit? I’ve been reading break up books, ya know the “getting over your ex” type books, but I still am not over him. It’s only been 8 months….. 😦 Any advice?

Anyway.. enough of the griping 🙂

I have had a rough start to 2013, but I am still blessed. I’ve been spending tons of quality time with my precious children, and that hands down is the best thing ever. I’ve also gotten back into running, and trying to incorporate weights in my workouts. Clean eating is still a bit of a struggle, but I’m getting there. I get to take a quick vacation to visit my family next month, and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m totally counting down the days.

Anyway, I no longer am going to promise blog posts, because I doubt anyone is readying anyway, but I am going to write when I feel like it…

Happy new year! (a month late, I know)

Alicia

Recent Ramblings

We’re coming up on a month in my new place! I am in love with it for the most part, but I am down a full bedroom and several hundred square feet of space. In fact, before I started moving, I made sure to get rid of stuff that I’d no longer need. I sold a bedroom set, some lamps, and random things that I knew I wouldn’t have room for. I definitely didn’t make any real cash, but it was gas money for a couple weeks, lol.

We had Christmas at my place which was awesome because I got to stay in my PJ’s all day. I cooked (which I love to do anyway) and enjoyed my little family and friends. It is so fun to play Santa Claus to a little guy that still believes:

(Sorry for the crappy quality of the pictures. I used my phone!)

I always hear that the best way to reach your goals is to write them down, and create a plan to reach said goals. Over the last couple years, I have definitely written out several “goals” of mine, but have never really thought out a plan of how to achieve them. That changes now…. I know that millions of people think of the New Year as a time to make resolutions, and I’m no different, but this year, instead of saying “I’m going to do such and such”, I am going to create a blueprint and a timeline for each of the things on my list. Some things may take the entire 12 months to complete, but come 2014 I want to look at 2013 and say that was the best year yet!

Over the last couple days, I’ve had my house to myself and really have had time to think about things. Here’s what I’ve come up with thus far, keeping in mind that these are in no particular order:

• Strengthen my relationship with God (ongoing)
• Count my blessings (ongoing)
• Increase income (within 6 months of 2013)
• Get in the best shape of my life (ongoing)
• Quality time with family/friends (ongoing)
• Vacation (3 times in 2013)
• Limit the purchase of junk food (ongoing)
• Continue savings $15.00-$20.00 per paycheck (ongoing)
• Reduce debt (ongoing)
• Complete another semester in college (by end of 2013)
• Establish some sort of writing here (ongoing)

I don’t have an actual roadmap to success yet, but I am hoping to write in detail about each goal, and what I plan on doing to achieve it. I have the next couple days off of work, and I plan on kicking the laziness out the door, and establish a plan.

Anyway, if theres anyone still reading this or even interested in my ramblings, thank you. I’m promising both you and myself that I will get better here. I’d really like to be a better writer/communicator in life, and I know there “aint nothing to it, but to do it” ;p

Goodnight!

Alicia